One of things that our family looks forward to every year, is the putting up of the Christmas tree. For the kids, it is the start of the festive season and a symbol of the fun times and gifts to come. Kelly loved the delicate decorations and the joy and excitement created on behalf of the kids. I love the triggering of memories of the Christmases past. Both the memories I have shared with my existing family and also those of my childhood and the times spent with my parents and brother.
I had received a piece of paper in the post in the lead up to Christmas this year. A piece of paper I would have normally discarded as junk mail. For some reason, I took the time to read it. It was an invitation to the Tree of Lights ceremony. An opportunity to dedicate a light on a tree to the memory of a loved one. Once read, the invitation seemed fortuitous. Not only was it an opportunity to support the Tygerberg Hospice (an organisation and group of people that I now truly admire and respect), but it was also an opportunity to partake in a ‘Christmassy’ event that would hopefully be memorable to the kids in their future years. Another chance to come together and keep Kelly’s memory alive at a potentially difficult time of the year.
We attended the ceremony and found it to be a lovely event. It included a list of people who shared their own stories about cancer. Stories about survival, about loss, about helping others and about celebrating life. There was articulation and recognition for the great work that people do in palliative care. There was music and food. Most importantly, our attendance had a positive impact on the kids. Emily specifically was engrossed in the stories shared and came away with a deeper awareness of the fact that she is not alone. That other people have had experienced a deep loss and have therefore been on a similar journey to herself. Also, that cancer can be beaten and isn’t necessarily the death sentence that is so often feared. Ethan enjoyed the venue, the bagpipes and the hand-held lights that were handed out after.
The highlight of the event was the switching on of the ‘Tree of lights’. An opportunity for the symbolic lights of our lives to show a tree in all its glory. It was a fitting end to a lovely evening and one that we as a family will remember as we pass through this first Christmas with a special person missing. We left the event with a photo of our little family taken under the special tree. A little keepsake of the night that we remembered a special person who couldn’t put up her own tree of lights this Christmas.