There is no doubt that I have made some mistakes over the last 6 months. I knew it was going to happen and made a decision some time back to be gentle on myself about it. Unfortunately there is often a repercussion and in this case, the chickens are coming home to roost.
On fathers day, I decided to treat myself to a shave. A fancy shave from a Mediterranean barber. I bounced the idea of the kids and they were up for it. “Get your haircut daddy and get a shave”. Clearly my grooming needed some attention. The shave was a great experience and I am glad I did it. There was just one problem. Having shaved my own face for 28 (?) years, its become accustomed to a specific style and technique. Namely mine. The barber used a completely different technique and my face didnt approve. Two days later I sit with some skin irritation, razor burn and general discomfort. No biggie, but enough to make me realise that I need to revert to the familiar routine and shave myself going forward.
The relevance of this little anecdote is that a similar lesson has been realised in my actions over the last 6 months. Let me explain. Kelly was a great believer in routine. For the kids and I guess with her own life too. There are many examples and I wont bore you with the details. I was on-board with this and saw the benefits. Over the last 6 months I have changed a familiar routine for the kids. Not at a micro-level (daily task/activities) but at a macro-level (i.e. the extent that the kids are involved in my social activities). Before, they were home with Kelly while I was out with friends, now, they have been out with me*.
This change in the kids routine had a similar impact to the trip to the barber. It was enjoyable and seemed like a good idea at the time but it has had an impact on the kids in terms of anxiety and general well-being. I made a mistake. Once again, I hear Kelly’s voice loud and clear – “What did you think was going to happen?”. I can only shake my head and mutter some half hearted explanation under my breath. The reality of the situation today is that it is now up to me to fix it. It is not a train smash but some iteration is needed to get the train back on track. That means a change in the routine that caused the issue and being more mindful of potential long term impact of decisions being made.
The face will take some time to recover and I like to think that I am intervening early enough to help the kids. I dont believe that there is any scarring or lasting damage done. On the face or on the kids. Only time will tell.
*Note that this does not mean that I take them out partying etc. It is a lot more nuanced than that.