I recently started wearing an earing again. Yes, I am now that middle aged man with an earing. It came about when Emily asked if she could put an earing through an old piercing which I doubted would still be open. Surprisingly, the hole was still open and we had a daddy and daughter laugh at the type of earings I would be wearing going forward. Two days later I received a pair of earings as a fathers day gift. I sense checked the option of not wearing it and could tell that Emily would have been crestfallen. The earing went in and I havent looked back.
It has been interesting watching peoples reactions when they notice it. Those who know me well will point it out and query about the how and why. Others notice it and I can see that they want to ask the question but dont feel it is their place. Some people don’t notice at all which says a lot in its own right. The majority of feedback as been positive which has made the continued use a little easier. What I dont share is that deep down there is another reason for its presence. It signifies that something in me has changed.
When you lose a life partner, the future is no longer what it once was. Shared plans, dreams, goals just disappear. The two, become one, and there is a need to re-evaluate whether things discussed are still relevant in the new context. In my case there has also been a shift in mindset and priorities. A different attitude is starting to take form and I can feel it gathering momentum. The earing is a physical manifestation of some this complexity. It is therefore a symbol and a statement. To others and to myself.
I dont know how long I will wear the earing. Perhaps it will no longer feel relevant at some stage in the future. Perhaps the symbolism or the statement will no longer feel necessary. For now it is something that binds Emily and I together in a daddy and daughter way that cannot be articulated. For that reason alone, I believe it is worth keeping for some time to come!